she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
