the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize