my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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