I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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