I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
