i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
third nipple confirmed
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
