Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
