a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
ttyl tear gas
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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