what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
