Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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