I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
