I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
