I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I have peed in a lot of sinks
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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