you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
