Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
