i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
