Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
