Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
