Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
