He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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