Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
