exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
