Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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