Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
two words: eviction party
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
