is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
