That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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