I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
