im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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