Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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