i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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