Sry I called you an 8
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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