so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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