i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
