It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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