I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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