butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
