I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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