we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
