sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
