I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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