We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Randomize
