so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
