Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I don't think brook has ever known best
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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