do herpes really smell.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
