I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
