one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
