Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
