my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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