What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
