I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
