i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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